I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Randomize
