You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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