my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i just had sex bonerless
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
