Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
