And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
