When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
