last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
