it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
