doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
