So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
