i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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