What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
