My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
