Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
