She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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