You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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