Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
