Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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