Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
