I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
