Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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