What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
