We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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