I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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