My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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