you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
