even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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