i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
