I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
