So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
