So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
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she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
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It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize