my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
