i will never coherently bang her
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
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i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
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She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize