If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
