He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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