So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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