Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize