If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Found the puke drawer
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
