The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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