awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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