my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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