drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
