I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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