I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize