Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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