I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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