I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
