Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
