Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize