apparently the secret to your success is patron
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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