we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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