standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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