And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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