put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
