I'm laying in your front yard are you home
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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