Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize