we're chasing vodka with high fives
Did you just see the Batmobile???
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
