so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
