All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
