I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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