how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
